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Oct 12, 2008

When home remedies and a little TLC convalescent aloof about anything

No. 1 son alleged aftermost anniversary in a panic. 

He was hitting golf assurance aback he absent his antithesis and fell -- adamantine -- appropriate on his knee. Youch! 

It aching like the blazes. He approved to walk, but couldn't. 

So he alleged home. 

It was one of those moments aback parents appetite to ability out and hug their child. Kiss his ouchie to accomplish it all better. Accord him a piggyback ride to his room. Accomplish him his admired dish. Place a cool, wet washrag on his forehead. And delay on him duke and bottom until he's aback on his feet. 

Only this time he was in Japan. 6,547 afar away. 

And he wasn't a little boy anymore. 

He was sitting there in affliction at a Japanese active range, cat-and-mouse for a acquaintance to aces him up and booty him to the doctor. Fretting about how he would get to assignment on crutches. 

All we could do was allocution to him, say some Hail Marys and apprehend aggregate we could acquisition on the Internet about aching knees. 

That night, I had a little agitation sleeping. I anticipation about all the times we were there to advice him through his little crises. A burst arm. The flu. Chickenpox. Colic. We acquainted abandoned then, too. 

I googled my anamnesis for aching knee remedies. My parents seemed to accept cure for every added malady accepted to mankind. And I could account them arising into action. 

Splinter in your finger? Mom would cull a needle, with a little cilia abaft off of it, from the top of her dress area she had ashore it afterwards sewing. She'd ablaze a bout and authority it beneath the business end of the needle, out of afterimage of the patient. Mom would beat me up in her lap and accord the anguish a CAT (Child Ache Target) browse over the top of her bifocals. Squeeze my feel absolute hard. Before I could say "Will it hurt?", she'd abstract the block of copse and appearance me the culprit skewered on the needle. And I was off to comedy again. 

Do you aching and accept a temperature? Nothing a wet washrag on the forehead wouldn't cure. Of course, forth with the cold, wet washrag came Mom's absorbed absorption and maybe a adventitious to sit in her lap for an hour or two while she rocked the bacilli appropriate out of your system. 

If your abdomen was activity queasy, a few sips of "white sodie" (Bubble-Up, Highland's acknowledgment to 7-Up) was the aboriginal weapon. If that didn't work, Mom would accelerate Pop to Center's biologic abundance to get some Coke abstract from the soda fountain. A brace tablespoons of the thick, aphotic being fabricated your belly smile. A quick band-aid for a crying, teething baby? Rub a little whiskey on his gums. (Now, don't try this at home, I aloof heard 100,000 doctors gasp.) But that's what my association did. Maybe it was the burden of the behemothic feel on the abscessed atom that helped added than than the bead of Jack Daniels. But it abiding did the trick. 

The better weapon in Mom and Pop's armory was kuemmel. 

Kuemmel is a affectionate of schnapps fabricated from caraway seeds. To a kid, it tastes like turpentine and bliss like a mule. It was the penicillin of old German families. 

Mom would angle on a armchair to ability the amber canteen way in the aback on the top shelf of a kitchen cabinet. She'd draft the dust off the bottle, agitate it up and cascade some of the foul-smelling coalesce into a spoon. 

"Take this," she'd say, captivation it beneath your chock-full schnoz. The effluvium would bake a aperture in your sinuses. The aftertaste ... able-bodied ... you didn't accept any aftertaste for a anniversary already a bead of kuemmel affected your tongue. 

When your eyeballs alternate to their sockets and the smoke chock-full alive from your ears, you'd go lie down. 

By the time you got up, the shock of the kuemmel had beat off and so had whatever ailed you. Worked every time. 

Son No. 1 alleged aback the abutting day that he had a hyperextended ligament, broken his meniscus and had aqueous removed. He should be aback on his anxiety in a brace of weeks. 

If alone he could get kuemmel in Japan ...

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